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My story: Part 1:The funeral from Hell

My story: Part 1:The funeral from Hell

I am sitting here at 12.30 pm this afternoon and soon it will be 1 year my late wife has gone and become an angel. I am writing this now but I don't know if I will post it though. It is a way to release the unbearable pain and hell of what I have gone through. Yes I know a lot of people have had a lot worse happen but let me tell you a story of the funeral from hell.

My wife died last July 15/04.

Yvonne was a very talented singer and guitarist. She was a very beautiful woman and came within one spot of going to the Miss Canada Pageant at the age of 18 years old. She was 26 yrs old when we met.

She was a beautiful and brave women who had been sick on and off for years. She was tough as nails and very loving. We have 2 beautiful children that were born around mid August /96 and the end of July /99. A beautiful girl and a handsome boy and what wonderful kids they are.

I can still see my beautiful wife's Yvonne face on our wedding day , the day our children were born , the times we made love and the last look from her when she got suddenly sick and died. At around 3pm that fateful Thursday she drove to store to get some power aid drinks and around 5 pm or so she suddenly got really sick.

Within 1.5 hours she would be dead. We lived 110 ( about 68 miles ) km from the hospital. I will never forget racing down the highway following the Ambulance at speeds up to 110 mph. The ambulance crew was doing CPR on her all the way. Just 20 km from the hospital the ambulance slowed down to 75 mph. I dreaded and knew in my heart that she had died but I clung to hope. After waiting for 1 hour at the hospital I got the dreaded news from the doctor.

The worst and hardest thing I had to do in my life was to tell my 2 little children who were 4 & 7 years old at the time. I hugged them and looked in their eyes the next morning and had to tell them that their mommy had died and was in heaven ( that still brings tears to my eyes when I think about it ).

So you may be saying well that is very sad but what are you talking about regarding the funeral from hell. Well after my wife died it started with my mother in-law hitting me at the hospital after my wife died. Of course she was grief stricken for this was the 2nd daughter she had lost plus her 1st husband.

When my late dearly departed wife died her wishes were to be buried where my children and I would move too (another city a 1000 miles away). Her family was 100% against this and fought me everyway they could.

They tried to call child and protection services on me 2 days after my wife passed away and making threats against me and my children. When that did not work they tried to tell the coroner that her death was un-natural.

There was a full Police and Coroner investigation to look into the matter. I remember the Monday that I was driving by the local school and seeing a large criminal investigations unit 48 ft trailer in the school parking lot. I recognized some of the police officers from the coroner investigation the day after my wife died and talking for hours what happened and what she did up to the time she died.

I said to them as I pulled up to the trailer what are you guys doing here. They said well we are glad you stopped by as we have to talk to you some more. I said what are you talking about ? They said their has allegations made against you and we have to investigate your late wife’s death further.

I said that is fine but I have to make arrangements for someone to take care of my kids first and I would get back to them. They said that is fine. The investigation was finished with 24 hours and my children ( the police were worried about a possible kidnapping ) and I ended up under 24 hour police protection as ordered by the coroner for over 5 days. The funeral home where my late wife's body lay was under 24 hour police guard because of threats by her family to abduct her body.

I endured 6 days of hell before the funeral and at the end I had to beg the coroner not to repossess my late wife's remains for protective custody the day of the wake and one day before her funeral.

On the day of the wake ( day before the funeral as per Ojibway custom ) and funeral there were 35 police officers present around the day of the wake and the day of the funeral as ordered by the coroner. A mere 8 hours before my late and dearly departed wife funeral was going to start, I relented and let her be buried in her home community as per her mothers wishes( my wife was North American Indian). I letter found out that their was a riot squad on standby 2 miles away ready to come in and break up any altercation.

I could not fulfill my children’s mother’s wishes because there would have been a fight and altercations during the funeral. I did not want to see my late wife's memory torn asunder in such a vile way. I did not want my young children’s last memory of their mother’s funeral to be of seeing fights.

I made a very hard decision and prayed. I talked to my late wife out loud and I told her I could not fulfill her wishes as I had to put our children’s welfare and mental well being first. What has this to do with Colombia you might ask well I hope to find someday a new wife from their or another Latin American country.

My children want me to be happy and smile again. They always ask me when am I going to get a girl friend and get married again. They want a new mommy here on earth. They have wonderful memories of their mom who is now their guardian angel in heaven. They want a new mom here on earth who will love them , hug them and kiss them. My daughter who is 8 now says she wants to say Yuckkkkk again as she used to say when her mom and I used to kiss a lot.

Now some say why are you looking for a new wife from South America. Well in started when some clients employees who were females last September said they would like to go on a date with me when I was ready. I told them my main priority was my children right now and they said ohhhhhhh you have children. I see. okay well take care and good luck.

That happened 3-4 times and I was pissed off. Anybody that disses my kids and I am not interested in them. Then my cousin who I had not talked with much over the years came back from Colombia and told me about his beautiful Paisa wife from Medellin who he had met here in Canada.

to be continued.

By WidowerfromCanada on Jul 5, 2005, 12:09 in Friendly Talkzone.

WidowerfromCanada says on Jul 5, 2005, 13:31:

Some more information From some PM's and questions some people had. Here is some more information.

I am 43 years old and My wife was 37 years old when she died. The investigation was finished with 24 hours and she died of natural causes.

She had a blocked duct in her gall bladder which affected her pancreas.. She died of acute Pancreatitis.

Love is like a butterfly , if you chase it you will not catch it but you can hope the butterfly of love lands on your shoulder.

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Caballista says on Jul 5, 2005, 16:49:

Ready? are you to be with another woman? Think twice, because you are giving the idea of a very sad man, waiting to find somebody to give you a lot, and I do not thing that a Colombian woman it's the right one. Or at least not the one you need now. Maybe your cousin did find the right one for him, but he is not in pain like you and your children. Give more time to it and the right woman-mother that you need, will be some day in your life.
Some body with the same situation or similar as yours with children, but without leaving her family and country behind. It's to much.
Wish you the best.

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WidowerfromCanada says on Jul 5, 2005, 19:45:

Are you saying a Colombian woman would not accept us ? Are you saying a Colombian woman would not accept my children or me because I am a widower and what we have gone through?

My children and I are doing quite well now. Yes the 1st anniversary of my late wife's death will be hard on July 15.

Why should my children or I wait a long time for someone special to come into our life? If I find a special lady why should we wait? We should not have the added joy of a nice lady in our life ?

I am not going to fall for the first woman and I have done my grieving. The experience I went through was quite awful and I was sharing with the board my story.

Until you walk a mile in my shoes you can't judge me. I disagree with you that a Colombian woman or another Latin woman would not want to share a life with my children and I.

I am not a sad man looking for a woman to give me a lot. I run 2 very successful businesses and I look after my children. I do not get babysitters for my kids or a housekeeper. I work , cook , clean , do laundry , bathe my young son , play with my kids , help them with their homework , take them to movies etc...

I was a very good , loving , respectful and faithful husband. I have a lot to offer the right woman , I am very outgoing , I love to joke and laugh , I put my family before myself ( including whatever woman is in my life in the future) , I am loyal and a devoted man , I respect women very much , I want to have more children , I am not looking for a trophy wife. I value brains , personality and values very highly. If a woman does not have those and we don't have chemistry then she can be a world class model ( I will not be interested ).

I am open to a woman with or without children. I am taking UTC cowboys advice about women who are older , widowed or divorced.

UTC your wife have any sisters ? jajajajajaja

Love is like a butterfly , if you chase it you will not catch it but you can hope the butterfly of love lands on your shoulder.

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utopiacowboy says on Jul 5, 2005, 21:45:

Actually she does have a sister who is single and a former Miss Colombia contestant. I can send you her email address if you're interested. She doesn't know any English but she studied French for a couple of years in school. She is a lawyer in Bogota. Her modelling days are over but when she's driving and I'm sitting in the front seat and her short skirt keeps riding up her legs, well, let's just say that my thoughts are not those of a good brother-in-law.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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COLDK says on Jul 6, 2005, 01:58:

a widow... I have a friend who is a widow with 2 girls(11,12), more than 30 and having problems to find a new husband in Colombia. She is a teacher with Master degree, speaks English...

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Rubiazo says on Jul 6, 2005, 03:50:

hahahah it's the Colombian version of the Brady Bunch!
Seriously though Widower, you have to give thought to where you all would ultimately wind up living. You are probably gonna end up with a Colombiana who has kids already too, and she's not necessarily going to want them educated in Northern Ontario (which is where you seem to live given the details of your post) She also may not wanna live 110km from the nearest hospital.

Not that I don't think you should pursue the matter at all. Just that I'll bet that this is gonna be an issue that comes up.

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Jul 6, 2005, 04:43:

Agree with you Rubiazo. I think he is going to be match with many relatives or friend from the PBH member board, I hope you find a nice girl WC, sorry to disappoint you about my sister but, hand on my heart I know she is not the girl for you.
UC: Talking about Mss Colombia, When I was 17, the committee that select the next Mss Cordoba to represent them to Ms Colombia told my parents if they wanted to send me, my parents talked to me and I totally refused, I could not go and parade in front of all those people, I would've felt like in the roman days in the coliseum. . No way! I was 17, and age when many girls are so conscious and not confident about their figures, for a bunch of nutters to tell you that that you got cellulites, wonky teeth, and nose and blah blah. I told my Mum no in a million years. And now some relatives are starting to look at my daughter and saying that I should prepare her to compete in the future, And I'm glad like mother like daughter she refused too, she say is like a cattle going to the market. I can't believe that in the 21 first century when women want to be taking seriously and want to have they same payments like men in the same jobs, they still parading like this for a bunch nobody to tell you if you are perfect.
Sorry I have to write about this, but I really don't like beauty contest.

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Dan says on Jul 6, 2005, 06:26:

UC HAHAHA That's the funniest thing I've seen in awhile. And how much of this site does your wife read? Take Care.

God Bless America!

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utopiacowboy says on Jul 6, 2005, 06:59:

I've told her what a distraction her sister is and I've asked how Colombians feel about polygamy but no go.

You don't have to apologize, Kat, I feel the same way you do. You do make a lovely little "heifer".

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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Dan says on Jul 6, 2005, 07:09:

yeah, my wife says I better not even think about it... No Humor

God Bless America!

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Jul 6, 2005, 08:06:

I am not apologising for anything UC, and I am pura raza ;-P

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WidowerfromCanada says on Jul 6, 2005, 18:52:

Thank you everyone for the comments and Pm's.

It has really brought a smile to face and warmed my heart all the nice and wonderful Pm's and posted comments.

Love is like a butterfly , if you chase it you will not catch it but you can hope the butterfly of love lands on your shoulder.

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WidowerfromCanada says on Jul 6, 2005, 18:54:

U.T.C. I would be honored to email your sister in law.

My personal email is jeff"at"jam21"dot"net

My MSN is torontonorth2"at"hotmail"dot"com

Jeff

Love is like a butterfly , if you chase it you will not catch it but you can hope the butterfly of love lands on your shoulder.

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adrimm says on Jul 6, 2005, 19:40:

WFC best edit your email addy so it reads "at" instead of at .

jeff"at"jam21"dot"net

Engines trawl for addys posted and use it them to send junkmail.

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WidowerfromCanada says on Jul 6, 2005, 20:49:

Thanks adrimm - Learn something new everyday

Love is like a butterfly , if you chase it you will not catch it but you can hope the butterfly of love lands on your shoulder.

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utopiacowboy says on Jul 6, 2005, 21:35:

My wife sent her some email today inquiring if she'd be interested. So we'll see.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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kernow62 says on Jul 6, 2005, 21:40:

Better yet is to code it as hexedecimal instead of HTML.

I know, I know it is more than you wanted to learn, but it is really simple.

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kernow62 says on Jul 7, 2005, 16:59:

ja ja. I resemble that remark.

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WidowerfromCanada says on Jul 9, 2005, 01:59:

Thanks for all the feedback folks... keep it coming.

Love is like a butterfly , if you chase it you will not catch it but you can hope the butterfly of love lands on your shoulder.

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