Marrying a Housekeeper (More like a maid)

Gomezman5 says on Jan 25, 2005, 13:38:

Angel I am not sure what you are saying.....Except let me say this--When a man falls in love with a woman, he does so knowing her past. A man should not look upon a woman as any better because she is a lawyer, or any worse, because she is/was a housekeeper. Even if she was a prostitute for that matter. The elements of one's past, are not necessrily representative of what they will be like in the future.

I personally would never judge a women based on the work that she did/or does. It is the many other characteristics that are important to a partner they really tells someone if that person is rigt for you.
Aside and apart from the physical attraction, I would evaluate her from other perspecitves such as:
honesty
integrity
commuication
faithful
Is she fun to be with?/common interests?
sense of humor--can she joke? or is she serious all the time?

These are just some of the factors that I would consider. The bottom line, you have to listen to your heart.....

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Gomezman5 says on Jan 25, 2005, 13:39:

Angel...............if ............. You want more of my opinion on this....You can always
private mail me.

G5

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dwmte says on Jan 25, 2005, 13:56:

gabriel... call forth the angel in you and rely on love and your truest emotions for this woman. if we look at life from a bit of the karmic point of view...we've all been everything and done everything.

we readers don't know the underlying thread in this thread, but it's not important. love cures/heals everything. whatever it is/was in our lives, can't be so bad, it got us here. it brought us together.

as she accepts you for who you are, accept her for who she is. you're a man and she a woman. period. by following your heart, i'm sure you'll know/feel right about the decisions you must make as time goes by. remember, since we all need it, forgiveness is the highest one can offer others.

i was taught to hate sin, not the sinner; if this applies.

go for the highest you can imagine, make your life a quest for loving and sharing and if you're consumed by true love, there's no time to think about other, what amount to, distractions.

good luck to you both.

douglas

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Neonovo says on Jan 25, 2005, 15:45:

My last wife was a maid... ...met her at church, had lots of friends (more than I), and an adopted daughter. I knew her for only a few months, and dated for only a few weeks, but I took a leap of faith. They seem to need and want me, and I them; and she's from Costarica, the peace-loving-nation of the hispanic world.
I knew she liked to drink, but I didn't know she was an alchoholic. Nor did I know it was a family-trait for her. (Her brother (younger) died in 2002, from liver problems); and I didn't know she was an extreme codependent; and I didn't know she walked away, in anger, from a very succesfully IT carrer when she came to the states (she designed & programmed a Unix-system, in the early 90's that still runs one of the largest grocery distributors in CR); she's one of the smartest persons I've ever know. Unfortunately, she threw it all away, and when I offered, a couple years after we got married, and had come to know her a little better, to pay her way and contribute to rehab her career here in the states, she accepted relucntantly, but always threathened "to quit school" if I didn't do her bidding (which included limiting visits to my sibblings).
I'll stop; I'm now happily divorced, and I started a new life, of which poorbuthappy is a part of. I'm even seeing a Bogotana, and will spend a week with her in San Andrés next month.

Good Luck, whatever you do.

Paz

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Jan 26, 2005, 10:31:

I don't know what you mean angel, how would a housekeeper be more susceptible of having a "past" than any other person? What dis you mean, exactly? A woman employed as a housekeeper would probably have a past as somebody's daughter, wife or girlfriend, but professionally, with a relativefew options, unless this housekeeper was an immigrant swo has not been able to get a higher-paying job because of her lacking language skills. I've met many women working as waitresses or maids in the States and in Europe who have a "past" as teachers, nurses, secretaries, receptionists or other similar occupations.

But, that was not what you meant, was it?

Cheers,
Desi

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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utopiacowboy says on Jan 26, 2005, 12:31:

My aunt was a housekeeper for a widowed doctor who she later married. Of course this all happened in Canada. Why would it be any different in Colombia?

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Jan 26, 2005, 12:43:

I don't know I'm sure many men in Colombia marry their housekeepers...I just haven't met any, but that doesn't mean anything. I thought angel's question was related with what kind of "past" a housekeeper or a maid can have, supposingly in Colombia. To my knowledge, the maids and the housekeepers have a background of domestic work, which is fine, nothing to be frowned upon.

Cheers,
Desi

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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Lionheart says on Jan 26, 2005, 13:43:

anybody can have a past And that past can be pretty ugly. You try to say somebody from a lower class is more at risk, Angel, if I understood you correctly. I doubt it, the more money you have the more you can experience, and the more you can hide. Somebody from a lower class might have been victim of injustices ... but I would never hold that against somebody. I would distrust rich kids hiding more from me than somebody poor. Also, having a past is a very wide term, define it. I try to look over the past and judge by the current actions.

Gomez, you are a friend ... so I can say this, you know what I mean. Would I trust a lawyer, a doctor, a politician, an insurance agent, or a used car salesman? Do I care about their past? All I know is that they will screw me today ... probably. I would rather marry a housekeeper I have known for years and I have learned to trust over an aquaintance I have just been dating for weeks.

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Gomezman5 says on Jan 26, 2005, 20:46:

Lionheart......a friend of mine you are and............. I have to agree with you completely. I'm a lawyer and I don't trust other lawyers. A work with a lot of politicians and yea...they're right up there too. A used car salesman???? Well the new car salesman are almost as bad, but at least it comes with a warranty. A doctor?
Unfortunaely, you're at their mercy...so you can only hope. But I will add another one to the list of miserable ones.....mattress salesman. I just had to buy a new one of those. I think they beat the all of the above characters.

Anyway, there is nothing wrong with marrying the maid.....Especially if ...............oh especially if.............

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