Getting married in two countries...Is it possible?

teppar says on Sep 25, 2004, 00:30:

no help? come on guys...no one has any insights for me???

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MJ says on Sep 25, 2004, 08:04:

CATHOLIC DEAR TEPAR, AS FAR AS IAM CONCERN IF YOU MARRIED IN THE CATHOLIC CHURCH YOU ARE MARRIED ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD,I AM A COLOMBIAN CATHOLIC AND MY HUSBAND IS FROM THE CHURCH OF ENGLAND.WE MARRIED IN COLOMBIA, IN THE CATHOLIC CHURCH BUT WE NEVER DID NOTHING HERE IN ENGLAND AND OUR MARRIED IS LEGAL.IF YOU WANT TO MARRIED IN COLOMBIA IN THE CATHOLIC CHURCH,WHAT WE DID AND THATS WAS IN 1989,WE HAVE TO GO TO THIS MATRIMONIAL COURSE RUN BY PRIEST(WHAT THEY KNOW ABOUT MARRIAGE GODS KNOWS)ANYWAY AFTERWARDS WE HAVE TO PAID LIKE $10 DOLLAR TO THIS OTHER PRIEST THAT WE NEVER SAW HIS FACE, FOR HIM TO GIVE AUTHORIZATION TO MY HUSBAND TO BE TO MARRY A CATHOLIC, WITHOUT HIS SIGNATURE YOU WERE'NT ALLOWED TO MARRIED, AND THEN WE HAVE TO PROMISE TO BRING OUR CHILDREN IN THE CATHOLIC RELIGION.I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT YOUR RELIGION BUT AS FAR I KNOW IF YOU MARRIED IN A CATHOLIC CHURCH YOU MARRIED HERE AND IN CAFARNAUM,SO NO ESCAPE.GOOD LUCK

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Mr. Hollywood says on Sep 25, 2004, 08:20:

Possible insight In most countries the legal institution of marriage is separate from the religions ceremony (if you have one). My guess is that you'll have a legal (court) wedding somewhere and then you can have as many different religious ceremonies as you feel you need. I know a couple who were married in the US and Lebanon in two separate ceremonies and their legal marriage was done in the US.

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teppar says on Sep 25, 2004, 23:35:

to bring children in catholic.... umm....mj....what is this you have to promise to raise children in the catholic faith? don't know if i can promise that, and hate to lie to a priest. is this something really important?

as for my religion, i'm armenian apostolic (kind of close to greek orthodox). i'm still trying to figure out if my church will allow us to marry in another church also. may just have to leave that piece of information out of the details we discuss with the priest.

cheers

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Sam Salmon says on Sep 25, 2004, 23:58:

"umm....mj....what is this yo "umm....mj....what is this you have to promise to raise children in the catholic faith? "
Probably talking about one of the parties converting to Catholicism.
If you have a strict priest then he'll pretend that your religion isn't somehow valid and try to convert you (and of course you'll have to pay along the way-it's religion after all!)-if he has some education then he'll probably be cool about the whole thing.It all comes down to details whether one party recognizes the other.
I was baptised Ukrainian Orthodox for instance and attended Catholic Church/School but it was a close thing-there were damn few Catholics in our town so they turned a blind eye when the Bohunks stumbled in (!)
Good Luck-the Catholic Church is one of the most fucked parts of the Colombian mosaic.

' a la orden!'

' a la orden!'

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teppar says on Sep 26, 2004, 00:21:

sam..... interesting....i can safely tell you that i will not convert to catholicism. my fiance and i can handle all the cultural and language differences between us, but religion is the one topic i fear. i know we have to tackle it, and soon, but i admit to avoiding it for the moment. i am not a fan of the catholic church...there is too much of an emphasis on fear and i find the church a bit too oppressive for my liking. until i take my fiance to my church, however, i don't think we'll be able to really discuss the issue properly.

cheers

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Sep 26, 2004, 01:49:

teppar, if things haven't changed you'll have to sign a statement that the children will be raised to Roman Catholic Faith and that you swear not to try to convert your husband into your faith. I signed those papers.
Cheers,
Desi

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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teppar says on Sep 26, 2004, 02:44:

desi... are you serious?!?! i won't try to convert him, but i certainly won't promise to raise my children in the roman catholic faith! i don't even want them baptised in the catholic church....hmm...problem!!!

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Sep 26, 2004, 04:40:

teppar that's how it was when I got married, a "few" years ago, in the lovely chapel of Santa Filomena in Cali.
First we had to get the approval of this monseñor for a mixed marriage. The interview was no big deal; he was very courteous and it was green light. However, the priest at San Fernando church didn't want to wed us, he wasn't feeling comfortable with the fact that I wasn't catholic, so we talked to the Canadian priest of my parroquia, Santa Filomena, and he had no objection.
We had to do this premarital course going to a big church somewhere downtown Cali four Sundays in a row for two hours each, where we were instructed of our marital duties and such (some of the soon-to-be-brides had obviously already gotten a sneak interview on their duties and sported a nice round little belly.) Our instructors were priest and nuns; I don't have a slightest memory what they said, but it was required, and we went there.
We ran into a small technical problem as it is customary for the couple to be married to receive the Holy Communion (la Santa Eucaristía) during the ceremony and that's where our "liberal" Canadian priest drew the line. The hell could freeze over before he'd administer Christ's blood and flesh to a Non-Catholic! It was solved by my husband taking the communion at the early morning mass and omitting the whole communion process from our ceremony.
And yes, teppar, before the Canadian priest would marry us he made me sign two documents: the first one stating that "any offspring of this unión would be raised within the Roman Catholic Apostolic Faith", the second document said that I swore "not to try to influence either my husband and/or our children on the behalf of my own religion." I can't remember the exact phrasing, it was a long time ago, and we didn't get a copy of either document.
After the church wedding we went to a notary we had pre-booked, with two pair of witnesses and signed the papers there for the legal part of the marriage contract.
Both of our children are baptized and have received their confirmation and first communion in the Roman Catholic church. I kept my promises.
However, neither one of them is a practicing Catholic, and my son at least, calls himself an agnostic.
I personally, couldn't have cared less. For me all the churches are the same, and none of them are divine; I have never been a religious person.

I hope that things have changed regarding mixed marriages, but these things tend to change very slowly. A promise extracted under duress is just as valid as one given of your free will for me; for others it might be different. It's ultimately a question between you and your conscience.

Cheers,
Desi

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Sep 28, 2004, 10:05:

did you find out teppar, did you do any inquiries if things regarding a mixed marriage (catholic with a non-catholic) have changed since the time I got married? I'd be interested with a little feedback.
Cheers,
Desi

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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teppar says on Sep 29, 2004, 02:42:

desi.... my fiance's parents are checking the 'rules' in bogota for us now. we haven't had any feedback yet. i think one thing we are going to have to do is neglect to tell both my church and his church that we're also having a ceremony in the other church. only one of them will be the legal wedding anyway, but its important to both of us to have church services in our respective churchs.

when i get some concrete feedback from his parents i'll let you know.

cheers

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