A Colombiana that wants to stay and live in Colombia

lpdiver says on Jun 6, 2005, 23:38:

Jeff Take it from me beware those young paisa's. They can crank out a lot of babies real fast...jejeje

Tony

"cook some rice!"

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Jun 7, 2005, 01:51:

I'm not sure WC, for me you rushing things again, no long ago you were devastated, why don't you just date as many as you can without compromise, to move your kids to a different part of the word is a big step, specially since they lost their mum, is good to keep them around their relatives i.e.: grandparents for a while, Don't take big decision just yet, I think for what can gather for your previous post you want a woman quick. Sorry but you start to sound a bit desperate and you can make a wrong decision. If you didn't have no kids I will tell go ahead and learn from mistakes, but remember you have two small kids to think about and they have to come first.

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kernow62 says on Jun 7, 2005, 03:55:

Widower, I agree with Kat on this one. Woman #1 sounds like a good woman, but if she does not want to leave Colombia do you think you would want to move with your children to Colombia? If the answer is no then you should look for someone else. It is a big step in life to pick up and move to another country. Children are very adaptable though.

Have you been to Colombia? I don't recall if you have been yet. If you haven't been; I would first go to Colombia, see the country, meet the people. Then when you get back to Canada continue writing to those women that interest you. You might fall in love with Colombia and decide it is for you, just beware that your heart doesn't persuade your brain to act purley on emotion.

If you just want a woman fast, find one in Canada.

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Brians says on Jun 7, 2005, 05:28:

WC I am concerned for you WC I have never posted in any of your posts before. I do read everything you write because it is somewhat of a soap opera. You seem like a nice guy and I want to be brutally honest from someone who hasn't posted to you before: You are not ready to get serious with anyone. I don't even think you should go to Colombia because you are going to fall in love with the first girl who is nice to you and they are all nice. I am in love with a Medellin girl. I am somebody who always said I would never marry again etc.. I like to travel and play around and don't want some woman getting 1/2 of my assets (I went through a divorce before). Anyway I meet a girl from Medellin and it was all over. I lost my heart. I am getting married. I never had a chance. She stole my heart. You are far to vulnerable and just looking for somebody. You need to be rational. This is a big decision for your kids you are making. If you can go visit Colombia and not get crazy (I doubt you can)then go. Otherwise stay away until you date around somemore and get an idea of what you need in a woman.
P.S. Stop with the gifts and things. I hate to tell you this but Colombian woman are romantic but not woman I ever met likes a desperate guy. You need to slow down. Make them wonder about you a little. See what they are willing to put forth into the relationship before you do anything. That will weed out a lot of women right away.

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Jun 7, 2005, 06:02:

I agree with brian on that on I have to agree with Brian on that one stop with the gift things. And just take it easy or you going to be taken for a ride.

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WidowerfromCanada says on Jun 7, 2005, 10:04:

I am not moving anywhere folks !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #1 is not going anywhere and we are just friends...

#2 is not a serious consideration for me.... too young...

I am not moving anywhere!!!!!!!!

Love is like a butterfly , if you chase it you will not catch it but you can hope the butterfly of love lands on your shoulder.

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Jun 7, 2005, 10:09:

Good, and don't scare us again, pheww..

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WidowerfromCanada says on Jun 7, 2005, 10:13:

I am not intersted in # 1 now at all I was just trying to convey to folks what is happening...

I have been slowing down and I am no hurry to find someone...

LMAO.... I am not moving anywhere other then to the suburbs of Toronto shortly...

Love is like a butterfly , if you chase it you will not catch it but you can hope the butterfly of love lands on your shoulder.

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elmodefoque says on Jun 7, 2005, 10:35:

Jeff, please keep in mind, in Colombia you’re highly sought after by well to do hot, spicy, delicious, sexy, curvy colombianas. It does not matter if you’re from Canada, they will not hold that against you. The main thing, you’re a white guy and therefore will be label a gringo, just tell them you’re from Chicago. Don’t look or treat these women like they’re the greatest thing since slice bread, YOU are the one holding the ball; YOU are the one that should be getting your white ass kissed . YOU are the one that will improve their lives beyond what they will ever imagine. Wait, I just remember, you live in Canada, dude get the f—k outta there, not even a colombiana is gonna be too happy there. Listen, as far as age, it does not matter, as a 40 something gringo you have every right to date an 18, 19, 20 and if you like older women go all the way to 25. Another thing DON’T give them a single gift until you get some action first. In most cases they’ll take what you gave them and give it to their broke ass Colombian boyfriend.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Jun 7, 2005, 10:40:

Charming :-)

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greenday says on Jun 7, 2005, 11:20:

hey If you're not interested in the 22 year old niece, then I am...hell, get me a pic and her phone #...

BTW: I agree with Elmo...and also stop with the gifts.

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caslug says on Jun 7, 2005, 11:33:

WFC, why don't you.. tell your inlaws that you are NOT looking for serious relationship(too early), BUT you CERTAINLY would like to meet as many girls/women as possible for "friendship" and maybe more. Hopefully then you'll be introduced to girls that are NOT looking something serious. But keep in mind, you're better off to meet women for casual dating in Medellin ON YOUR OWN. Because if you're just fooling around, it's better not to do it with friends/coworkers of the inlaws.

AND meeting women on your own in COL is a snap, reread w/ Elmo said.

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utopiacowboy says on Jun 7, 2005, 11:40:

You shouldn't be giving a chick anything unless you're breaking the bed with her every night. Why don't you cool your heels, check out amigos.com and correspond with some women for a couple of weeks? It will help your Spanish and give you something to do in the meantime. Leave your cousin's family out of it - you're asking for trouble.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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elmodefoque says on Jun 7, 2005, 11:44:

Jeff, if you insist in giving your girlfriend a gift, give her sexy underwear, fire engine red, with expose you know what, just imagine how silly her broke ass Colombian boyfriend is gonna look wearing that.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Jun 7, 2005, 11:54:

uhmm, I can imaging ;-)

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elmodefoque says on Jun 7, 2005, 11:59:

i wore them once, never again, i even scared myself

I'll get there, when I get there!

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Jun 7, 2005, 12:01:

LOL ELMO.. Maybe they weren't the right fit.
Why did you wear them? I bet you looked sexy hehe :-)

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elmodefoque says on Jun 7, 2005, 12:15:

i was drunk outta my mind, but once i saw my ugly hairy nuts hanging out, i almost puked.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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elmodefoque says on Jun 7, 2005, 12:16:

when i bend over it was worst. gotta go, see ya

I'll get there, when I get there!

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WidowerfromCanada says on Jun 7, 2005, 12:28:

My approach now is friends for now and then who knows...

I have not sent any gifts other then the doll for the 26 yr old daughter going into the hospital for surgery... I am a softy on kids and that made me feel good to put a smile on a little girls face..

LMAO Elmo !! Funny stuff...

Utopiacowboy... What do you mean ? Why ? I thought this way might be better .. " Leave your cousin's family out of it - you're asking for trouble"

Greenday... I am still thinking about that one ( 22 yr old )... She is very very beautiful... I am not totally nuts and I am a hot blooded man...hmmmmmmm... Oh oh here comes Desi... ;-)

Love is like a butterfly , if you chase it you will not catch it but you can hope the butterfly of love lands on your shoulder.

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utopiacowboy says on Jun 7, 2005, 14:47:

I think my wife is very wise when it comes to dealing with her family. She keeps her mouth shut and tells them as little as possible. Otherwise they are constantly meddling in your business.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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Lionheart says on Jun 7, 2005, 19:14:

a new idea move to the whole family there, then you got plenty of babysitters and distractions .... don't settle for one, tell them they are all beautiful and you can't decide, and you don't want to hurt anybody. I am sure with your gringo experience and years you can beat all the young dumbass boyfriends at it too.

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adrimm says on Jun 7, 2005, 20:51:

26 yo.... smile on" little girl's" face...? I hope you meant 6 years old becuase at 26 a doll may not quite cut it for smiles (tho other things could).

Entonces WFC, todavia piensas viajar a Colombia?

UTC, your wife is very wise.

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Crazy4Cali says on Jun 7, 2005, 21:09:

Well, I, for one... ...admire WFC for sharing his experiences and then taking the volley of pot shots that always follows his posts with good humor. At the very least it makes for interesting reading.

As BrianS and so many others have said, ten cuidado when you go to Colombia in a vulnerable state (I know you say you're not...) but when it comes to ladrones de los corazones those colombianas are the worst. They can steal your heart so quickly you won't know what hit you (and you'll love every minute of it). I, too, thought I was a tough, cynical, divorce-hardened, soul, yet now I'm engaged. And I even had a long list of requirements... I said: "I want this, this, ... and this in woman." thinking, "yeah, right!" Then I met my colombiana and she says "Aquí estoy!" and so it goes.

If you haven't been there, then all this probably sounds too crazy to be true. If you have been there, it probably barely covers the tip of the iceberg. In any case, you've been warned. ¡Espero que tengas un buen viaje!

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lpdiver says on Jun 7, 2005, 21:50:

WFC You play with fire and sooner or later you are going to get burnt.
T

"cook some rice!"

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WidowerfromCanada says on Jun 7, 2005, 23:41:

lpdiver lead me to the fire !!!!!!!!!! ;-)

Love is like a butterfly , if you chase it you will not catch it but you can hope the butterfly of love lands on your shoulder.

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lpdiver says on Jun 8, 2005, 00:16:

my friend I think you are already there.

T

"cook some rice!"

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WidowerfromCanada says on Jun 8, 2005, 00:26:

Crazy4Cali good post....., Yes I am vulnerable in some ways when it comes to women right now...

Heart stolen.... I like the sound of that....

I have never been into the casual relationship and I am going to try to take my time... I will only put Monopoly money on my forehead when I go to Colombia...

I am not desperate... I have been blowing off the 29 yr old doctor who is now chasing me... I am not willing to play games... not interested at all...

After getting stomped on so hard after the Mariachi nightmare ( which never actually took place )... I don’t need that shit...

My priority right now is to learn Spanish... I am going no where fast until I can communicate better with a woman...

I know a lot of people think this is a soap opera but this is my life... Maybe what I am looking for does not exist... who knows ?

I am tired of North American women... sorry but that is the truth...
Okay ladies I am ready for the shots at me... Both my Mother and my Mother in Law support my decision in looking farther a field for a special woman...

I just do not see the qualities in a woman here in Canada that I am looking for... I am a very warm and friendly person... I would give the shirt off my back to help someone and I do sometimes...

I find a lot of women emotionally cold here in Canada... Beautiful yes but that is not the end all and be all... I have 2 small children which are my primary concern and who I love very much .... If I meet or find someone great... If I don’t we will be fine....

This is not a journey I wanted to take... I did not want to be single and a widower... I am though a man and I want to love again..
I am a human being and I am not perfect...

I am not dumb , blind or walking with my eyes closed... I have been around the block and I am a very good judge of character...

I look at UTC , Daver and many other guys here who have been very lucky in Colombia... Maybe there is still gold in them thar hills...

Maybe I am deluding myself but I don’t think so....

Life is to be lived and I am very much alive....

Jeff

Love is like a butterfly , if you chase it you will not catch it but you can hope the butterfly of love lands on your shoulder.

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greenday says on Jun 8, 2005, 03:34:

WFC you are DEFINITELY doing the right thing in going to Medellín in looking for a wife...just take it easy, meet as many woman as possible, don't let age or other factors sway you...take your time!!
You are certainly correct regarding the spanish...so keep studying!!

Good luck my friend!

P.S. in the future just skim over the negative posts regarding your situation...focus on the positive and don't look back...

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webmanco says on Jun 8, 2005, 04:15:

Elmodefoque, GIB I had to desagree with elmodefoque and in another posts with GIB, (Gringos/Colombians and the wicked web they weave ) in the issues regarding the sicologial view (from their point of view) of the reaction of colombian women with someone with looks from North America.

A piece of advice to all foreigners, not all colombian women will kiss your behind just because you are white or flaunt a passport from another country. Some will do it for love, others will do it for need of a better economic situation and because they want kids in a more suitable economic. and a few will do it because you are white an held a passport from another country. Some other will do it just becouse they like to do it no matter where are you from.

Now if modefoque aggres with GIB on the subjet of white´s being god´s send then modefoque must agree with GIB on the matter that latin woman when hanging around with a withe man (especially from north america) will be upgraded to a model status. Not surgery needed. Following that thought then when a latin woman hangs around with a latin man, she will be downgraded to an ugly less desired woman. Especially if you are not ligh skinned.

Personality counts. Otherwise instead of having your behind kissed, it will be kicked.

...A yo, déjenme queto y no me jodan má! ...

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elmodefoque says on Jun 8, 2005, 07:39:

From my own personal observation as a colombiano from the poor ass part of town, and of course dark. Colombian women from the higher social ladder only date white guys whether they be Uribe looking colombianos or gringos. Guys like me need not apply. But, MOST women from the poor side of town, estrato 1 or 2 prefer to date the local hard drinking, vallenato dancing, bus or taxi driver from their own neighborhoods. They have no desired to impress Doña Rosa from across the street by showing off Harvey from Canada/UK or Illinois. Dona Rosa is proud enough of Juancho who drives a taxi with air condition making 12 dollars a day instead of 8 and can now give her daughter that flushing toilet she desperately needed. Harvey is not gonna survive in that kind of environment (estrato 1 or 2) especially when you have los hermanos Guacho from down the street, meaner than junk yard dogs. Those guys will not be too happy with Harvey screwing one of their local girls and in most cases will end up hurting Harvey real bad.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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oldbongo says on Jun 8, 2005, 10:09:

elmo querido... you are SO RIGHT ON THE MONEY....

how the hell did the fishing go?...

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elmodefoque says on Jun 8, 2005, 10:21:

OG, i can't wait to go back to miami, i got a blue fin tuna, maybe 50 pounds, a shark and a number of king fish. i'm sending you a pic.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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Rubiazo says on Jun 8, 2005, 20:32:

modefoque lets go to estrato 1 together we will kick ass and take names, like salt and pepa!!
just give me a little while to learn how do dance vallenato properly. It seems pretty close to merengue :PP
Actually i'd be a lot more worried about my novia than the guachos, mainly because she shaves herself with a straight razor and I will be sleeping right next to her.

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adrimm says on Jun 8, 2005, 22:02:

WFC It's too bad you couldn't find a pool of girls here at home who possibly can't have children of their own yet wish a family. I'm 26 and when I look at my peers an myself I understand the challenge you may have in finding someone willing to take on kids. On the plus-side the wouldn't be shared, and younger will take easier to a new mom.
It's too bad becuase I know a guy who has in the last while become a single dad with a 7 and 9 yo. He's extraordinarily attractive to me and the commitment he has to his kids (who I really like) speaks volumes.. yet I personally could not jump in this late in their lives.

BUT it does happen, I know a lovely 28 yo teacher who married a divorcee, and they have his 2 kids 1/2 time.

I suspect that with the challenges of raising young children, keeping house and living life (work, etc) it is really hard for you to find energy and time to really actively find someone. I think the shortest courtship I know of here at home was about 8 mos, and then another 6 mos till the marriage.

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utopiacowboy says on Jun 8, 2005, 22:10:

I jumped into three kids lives when they were 9, 13 and 14 and as far as I can tell, we are all the better for it. Not to mention my own kids who were 21, 19, 14 and 13 - I share joint legal and physical custody of the younger two with their mother. It's like going swimming - just jump in hollering "Cannonball!" - the water's fine.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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kernow62 says on Jun 9, 2005, 05:34:

UTC, I must be tired UTC, I h I must be tired UTC, I had to re-read your post. I thought it said you share a joint with them. ja ja

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